I hear people saying, “I can’t find the time” a lot these days.
Ok, I’ll be honest here. I say it too. I try to catch it, but it slips out more than I would like. If I can catch it, I always try to check in and see how I feel when I’m saying this. Almost always, I feel overwhelmed or exhausted.
It’s become a cultural norm to be busy. Seriously. What’s up with that?
The question is, what are we busy doing?
I think the answer to that is pivotal in the creation of our happiness and the quality of our life. Are you busy creating a life you love, or are you running around chasing life, reacting, and putting out fires?
Do you use your time to prioritize your emotional and spiritual well-being?
Do you use your time to enrich your life?
I had a client recently who was ending his work with me. He had made amazing, profound changes in his life, and it was time to take what he had learned and go do his thing.
As we were closing our last session together, he said to me, “I can’t thank you enough – you have given me my life back.”
I instantly felt like I was going to choke on my emotions. Tears welled up in my eyes and I smiled at him because I knew the truth was, while I had helped facilitate the process, it was he who had chosen to take his life back.
This client drove over 3 hours each way to see me. He chose to do this because it was a priority to him, and he made it happen. He was no different from me or you. He had a full-time job, responsibilities, and a life. He just made sure his happiness was as important and as critical as everything else in his life.
He didn’t wait to find the time, he made the time. I am sure it was inconvenient – but he made it work. He made the time.
This is why I do what I do.
It is because I know that when people start making the time to take their lives and their happiness as seriously as they take their jobs and day-to-day responsibilities, miraculous things happen. They become empowered. They realize they are creating their lives and they start creating from a conscious place.
Far too often, people wait until disaster strikes or things fall apart to address their own happiness. And when push comes to shove – when things do fall apart – people always find the time, because they have no choice at that point. This is why I know that we can find the time if we want to.
Wouldn’t it be nice to choose to make the time because we want to, and not wait for things to get to the point where we no longer have choice and it is a “matter of necessity”? The truth is, it should be a matter of necessity every day of your life to make the time to take care of yourself.
“Finding” is an external search. It is a word you would use if you were looking for something outside of yourself – something in your surroundings.
“Making” is an internal process. It is a word that you would use to describe anything you create, with you as the source of power.
It might be a matter of semantics, but I think it’s a pretty powerful one.
Now, if you are reading this thinking, “I have three kids, a full time job, an aging parent, a marriage that needs attention, not to mention a dog that needs walking…” as you roll your eyes at me, let me say to you, I get it.
I am not suggesting that life doesn’t demand our time. I am not suggesting that for many of you, circumstances beyond your control are demanding your time and attention. I am not obtuse to our toxic culture, and the barriers that many of us are up against in the face of lack of support, resources, and opportunity. So, please here me when I say this article is not blaming or suggesting that we are the “problem”.
I merely hope to inspire all of us to realize that there is always an opportunity to focus on our own self care. Even if it is a stolen moment in the line at the grocery store. Or a social media app that gets deleted from our phone once we realize that it has become what the kids call “a time suck” that no longer serves us. Little moments add up. They do.
And I hope each of us realizes the intention behind trying to make time is what ultimately heals.