For too long, the dominant model in mental health has echoed a familiar cultural narrative: the healer holds the power, and the client must come to receive it. I have always been uncomfortable with that idea. The idea that I am in some way holding the power has never sat right with me.
I can remember being in graduate school, and learning the older (outdated, in my opinion) modules of therapy, where the therapist remains a complete blank slate and seperates their humanity from their role as a therapist, and I always felt odd about that dynamic. Something in my body just inately rejected it.
Since then, 20 plus years of experience, a deeper understanding of the nervous system and attachement later, I have realized my body always held the truth. This old model isn’t just outdated—it can be harmful. And it’s rooted in the very systems I believe we’re here to help dismantle.
Why the Traditional Power-Over Model No Longer Serves Healing
The belief that healing happens to someone, rather than through them, is a function of patriarchy and dominant culture. It mirrors the broader societal myth that someone else holds the key to our freedom, and we must earn, obey, or perform to access it.
This kind of hierarchy—of power-over, of dependency—creates systems that enable oppression, control, and disconnection. Because if you believe you need something outside of you in order to heal, you’re easier to manipulate. You’re easier to dominate.
But here’s the truth: every human being has the innate capacity to heal. We are born with everything we need to grow, to evolve, and to become whole. We are spiritual beings who arrive here with everything we need, and it is our culture that tells us otherwise.
As therapists and healers, our role is not to be the source of transformation—but to hold the space where transformation becomes possible. Yes, we may bring theory, training, and experience. But we are not the healing itself. You are.
This shift—from hierarchy to partnership—changes everything.
From Authority to Partnership: Reclaiming Relationship in the Healing Process
Because once we remove control and dominance from the healing relationship, what we’re left with… is relationship itself. And for many people, that’s the most terrifying thing of all.
True relationship requires vulnerability. It requires us to confront the core human questions: Am I lovable? Am I enough? Will I be abandoned?
When we meet each other as equals—therapist and client, healer and seeker—we can no longer hide behind roles, titles, or systems. We are asked instead to relate. To attune. To witness. To be witnessed.
And this is where the most powerful healing happens. This, to me, is a spiritual experience. Remembering who you are – and returning to the truth of your own innate value.
If you’d like support that honors this kind of healing relationship, explore Spiritual Counseling or reach out when you’re ready.
